Doctor Jaz Speaks Out About Doctor Who: The 12th Doctor

[LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - August 2014]

I am Doctor Jaz and I’m a Whovian.

I have been a dedicated – nay, rabid – Doctor Who fan since I was a just a kid. To me, the Doctor is the quintessential hero. He’s hyper-intelligent, resilient, humorous, off-beat, and tenacious. Yet, despite being a highly-evolved Time Lord, he still exhibits the believable features of being fallible, sometimes forgetful, occasionally egotistical, and often temperamental; thereby presenting him as a personality that most viewers can identify and sympathize with.

The 4th incarnation of the Doctor (expertly portrayed by Tom Baker) was who I was first introduced to as a kid. Since then, some incarnations of the Doctor have resonated to varying levels with me. The 5th Doctor was portrayed by Peter Davison, who I never quite warmed up to like the 4th but who had his appreciable moments. I completely disliked the 6th helmed by Colin Baker, though Sylvester McCoy’s 7th Doctor softened my sense of angst and longing for the days of Tom Baker. Then the Doctor went on extended holiday – termed hiatus in the television industry – until the 1996 film with Paul McGann, which was only a brief reappearance followed by almost ten years of silence. After that, the Doctor was merely a magical memory from my youth, leaving a longing for the good old days.

Then in 2005, Doctor Who returned with Christopher Eccleston expertly resurrecting the Doctor in the midst of his 9th incarnation. My spirits soared as the magic from my childhood returned brighter than before. The new series was filled with more adult characters and mature themes, story lines, and circumstances that mesmerized me. My elation with the Doctor grew when David Tennant took over as the 10th Doctor in 2005. Tennant’s Doctor was my favorite to date, leaving me happier than I’d ever been with the show. Add to that, the Doctor’s companions skyrocketed from charming and interesting to sexy and amazing. From the sexy and spirited Rose Tyler (who to this day I still crush on!) to the mysterious and alluring Amelia Pond, the Doctor’s companions rivaled him for screen time and audience affections. Never mind the emotional and sweeping soundtracks by the incomparable talents of Murray Gold, which renewed my fixation with listening to soundtracks while I wrote my own novels.

When Matt Smith took over as the 11th Doctor, it took a few episodes for him to grow on me, though he quickly tied David Tennant as my all-time favorite version of the Doctor. Between David and Matt, Doctor Who secured the highest placement in my eternal science fiction hall of fame. Fast forward to 2013 when Matt Smith stepped aside for Peter Capaldi, both a Doctor Who fan since his youth, as well as a talented and competent actor in his own right. I was tentatively optimistic as I waited for Capaldi’s tenure to begin.

The first full episode with Capaldi as the 12th Doctor, Deep Breath, was unexpectedly flighty and concerning. Not only was the Doctor seemingly emotionally and functionally unstable as had happened to the 6th Doctor under Colin Baker, he was much more colder, analytical, and less approachable than any recent incarnation. That worried me a bit, though it was more of a throwback to the Doctors from the original series of years gone by.

(Note from Jaz: We’re simply not going to get into semantics by discussing the conveniently-inserted War Doctor played by John Hurt…just accept it and move on already.)

Gradually, a tactful sense of acceptance blossomed inside me as I tried to metabolize and understand this new incarnation of the Doctor. Sadly, and with only one episode left in the two-part season finale, I’m still working on that.

While I’m still an avid Whovian, I must admit that my fervor for the show has waned slightly this season. The stories are engaging at times, but the Doctor’s personality isn’t as compelling or as enjoyable for me to identify with as in recent incarnations. To be honest, I miss the decidedly more thoughtful and endearing moments from the Tennant/Smith era. Though I don’t believe that the Doctor has to be cuddly and huggable all the time, I truly miss those heartfelt moments where you’re able to “feel” the conflicted emotions welling inside our hero. Granted, there have been brief all-too-fleeting moments this sesason, but they’re too few and far in between for my liking. I also miss the sweeping emotional soundtracks of prior seasons. This season, Murray Gold’s score is darker and much more subdued than previous seasons. Come to think of it, there’s much more conflict between Clara Oswald and the Doctor, though much of it could be the character’s own inability to adjust to the newest incarnation; perhaps reflecting many of us fans, come to think of it.

So, where do we go from here? Honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to believe that the Capaldi incarnation might soften just a bit more, to which I’d not only appreciate but find myself better able better form a closer emotional bond with him. I remain cautiously optimistic.

How about you? What do you think of Capaldi’s brief tenure as the Doctor?

It's Doctor Jaz...forever a Whovian!      (Photo by Jaz Primo and Brandon Acree, 2014.)

Hard Decisions Ahead: The Love of Writing Versus the Popularity Contest

[LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - October 2014]

Today is a day that I should stay off social media outlets. However, this is my blog…a place to reflect upon the world around me; a place to say what’s on my mind. To be frightfully -- and brutally -- honest, I'm not really sure that I'm not the only person reading my blog.

That being said, today is a day of genuine disappointment and disillusionment for me as a writer.

This week is a week that I no longer feel like participating in the entertainment industry.

For most of my life, I’ve enjoyed creative writing. Writing is entertaining to me, as well as emotionally therapeutic. In fact, writing is entertainment not only to me but to the reading public at large.

By contrast, being part of the entertainment industry is often depressing and disappointing. It is a ratings game – an environment where authors, performers, artists, singers, actors and actresses all vie for the attentions of an audience and the respect of their industry and peers. It is also a money machine, focused… no, more like obsessed…with sales, investments, profits, and returns. It is a grind of modern capitalism.

It is also a popularity contest; my least favorite aspect.

I frequently advise writers to ignore the Amazon rankings and sales charts when reflecting upon their own work; that the value of their art and creativity should not be relegated to where their works reside in numbered lists. However, this week I violated my own advice and perused the Amazon rankings for my own novels.

Suffice to say, I was sadly disappointed.  I’m definitely not winning any popularity contests with regard to my outstanding novels at the present time.

A sense of rejection quickly permeated my spirit. I felt dejected and disappointed.

It made me feel as if my writing wasn’t positively contributing to the body of published literature at large in the marketplace. It made me wonder if my own work was meritorious to readers.

Those negative feelings caused me to stop writing on my current projects, namely manuscripts for my second Logan Bringer novel and my fifth Sunset Vampire novel.

It’s important to understand that authors, just like any performers or artists, receive satisfaction in seeing their work actively viewed or digested by others. It is perhaps a reflection of our own vanity, though more often – and as is the case with me, I believe – it’s a reflection of seeking broader acceptance. It’s a matter of validation that my work is good enough for others.

For authors, it’s not solely a matter of sale for the purposes of income (though paying bills and putting food on the table is important to me), it’s more like those sales numbers indicate that other people find value in my creations.

It’s a mark of perceived worthiness…of being embraced socially. Certainly, people are social creatures, are we not? 

 I don’t like feeling depressed and disappointed. I’m generally a happy person. In the midst of my melancholy, I sought solace and inspiration anywhere that I could find it.

Then I remembered someone who has spoken to my heart since I first heard him as guest speaker at the May 2012 graduation ceremony at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia.

Neil Gaiman.

Neil is the famous author of many award-winning novels, including the graphic novel, The Sandman. I often reflect on his momentous 2012 graduation speech, which you can view at http://www.uarts.edu/neil-gaiman-keynote-address-2012.

One of his many key reflections in his presentation included, "...when you start off, you have to deal with the problems of failure. You need to be thick-skinned, to learn that not every project will survive. "

I genuinely needed to hear him say that to me.

It’s never easy seeing your creations being largely overlooked in the marketplace.

Neal also said, “A freelance life, a life in the arts, is sometimes like putting messages in bottles, on a desert island, and hoping that someone will find one of your bottles and open it and read it, and put something in a bottle that will wash its way back to you: appreciation, or a commission, or money, or love. And you have to accept that you may put out a hundred things for every bottle that winds up coming back.”

Not everything we do as artists or writers will be accepted by the masses. It’s a harsh reality to confront and become comfortable with.

 I listened to the entire speech twice, in fact. His words were encouraging and soothing and somewhat reassuring.

 After a short time in silent reflection, I have decided that my own disappointment in the recent sales performance of my novels will not keep me from continuing my writing. At my core, my writing is intended for me as much as for others. It helps me work through things that are processing inside me, whether that's my imagination, or my emotions, or merely my assessments of life or the world at large.

That being said, publishing is a business, and if my novels don’t sell very well, it may not be fiscally possible for my future works to continue being published.

Even if my future works aren’t published, at least I’ll have my manuscripts for my own personal sense of accomplishment and reflection, including the satisfaction that comes from completing them in their entirety.

Of course, as an avid reader, no longer going through the grind of the publishing process and all of the work that it entails would leave me with more time for me to read what others have written. At the very least, I could help contribute to the satisfaction and support of other authors.

I’ll ponder on it further, I suppose.

Either way, I hope that your life will be fulfilled with a sense of satisfaction and acceptance.

Late Summer Sunflowers

Sunflowers of late September. (Photos by Jaz Primo, Sept. 2014)

Fall is my favorite time of year. While enjoying the cool early-autumn breeze during one of my recent neighborhood aerobic walks, I welcomed the long-overdue cooler temperatures and overcast skies. Then I caught sight of some sunflowers in the waning stages of bloom and it generated a momentary wave of nostalgia. While I’m no fan of my state’s oppressive summer heat and humidity, I appreciate the beauty found in those vibrant sunflowers. They reminded me of Vincent Van Gogh’s iconic and mesmerizing sunflower paintings.

 My reflections were accompanied by the realization that with autumn’s arrival, everything was preparing to go dormant in anticipation of the winter. Though, at least in my portion of the country, winter is more than what the majority of the nation calls autumn. Honestly, this is a state of hard weather that matches the hard character of many of its residents; hard and unrelenting. But, I digress. Nevertheless, I considered the passage of time and how, like the sunflowers, our lives are marked by the increasingly swiftly-passing seasons. Then it reminded me how quickly time passes and how we should savor beautiful moments when they occur. As such, I savored the view of the sunflowers as I reveled in the early days of fall.

Sunflowers of late summer. (Photo by Jaz Primo, Sept. 2014)

And now for a quick update on how my new kitty, Tabby, is doing. My little furry tyke is taking nicely to her new home, complete with toys, multiple carpeted places to perch, and no less than two healthy dry kitten foods. She also made her first visit to one of the best cat specialty veterinarians in the central part of our state. Dr. Edwards and her kind staff were immediately smitten with Tabby, who seemed to appreciate the attention. Oh, and as with all kittens, Tabby has a curiosity streak a mile long. As you can see from the photo below, she has a strong affiliation toward recycling. In fact, she inspects the basket’s contents herself to ensure that it’s appropriate for recycling. But then, that’s kittens for you.

Tabby in the recycling basket. (Photo by Jaz Primo, Sept. 2014)

Enjoy autumn, and take a moment to gaze at the waning summer flowers.

Tabby…My Newly Adopted Furry Companion

Life can be filled with amazing surprises, don’t you agree?

Speaking of surprises, I’m happy to announce the adoption of my new furry companion, Tabby! She’s a two month old gray tabby cat that I adopted from my local animal shelter. She’s SO CUTE and ADORABLE! (Cray-cray adorbs!!)

Jaz and Tabby on adoption day.

Some of you may recall that my long-lived kitty, Selina, passed away last October. I’ve been mourning Selina for nearly a year, and was recently inspired by my dear friend, Jessica, to seek a new furry companion through my local animal shelter, thereby saving the life of an innocent kitty in need of a family.

We proceeded to the shelter where there was a meet-and-greet room containing numerous kittens and young cats. As soon as we walked into the room cats walked over to us to inspect their newest guests. While squatting on the floor petting a couple of young cats, a small gray female kitten quietly walked over to me and sat between my feet. I looked down at her and she gazed back up at me with endearing greenish eyes, quietly staring at me. I reached down to gently scratch her head and stroke my finger under her chin. She rolled her head slightly and I sensed she liked me, so I cupped her in my hand and lifted her close to my chest. She took to me immediately, nestling herself against me and purring, so I knew she was ‘the one.’

Jessica kept her company as I completed the adoption process, and I learned that only the day before she had been spayed. The shelter provided me with excellent medical information on her medications and post-operative care instructions, as well as a nice cardboard box to carry her home in. Of course, she was quickly in Jessica’s lap as we drove away. Following a quick stop at Petsmart to acquire some high-quality kitten food, we came home and got her settled in. It was on our drive to my home that the name Tabby came to mind. I think it really suits her.

It's Tabby!

She seems to be settling nicely in my home and her frequent little mews melt my heart. She has an entire room in my home for her use, as well as various cat climbing structures, scratching posts, a variety of kitty toys, and an easy-to-use mini-kitty litter box, which fortunately she took to immediately.

I anticipate many happy years ahead of us, and it feels really nice to have a new furry member of my family. Already, my home feels much warmer with her residing there. If you’re considering a new addition to your family, I strongly encourage you to go to your local animal shelter first. You’ll not only be saving the life of an innocent animal, you’ll be adding a grateful, loving new furry member to your own family. That’s something that has already enriched my world in heartfelt, satisfying ways.

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Having been called out by numerous people, I responded to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness for Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Enjoy my video!

Laughter Remembered

[Photo by Alice Herden. – Legal use licensed via Dreamstime - August 2014]

Robin Williams made me laugh.

He left me with a smile on my face long after the punchline. Robin had a gift that made life a little bit easier to confront for the rest of us. By all accounts, he was a kind, generous, and giving person. He brought visibility to charities and causes, gave hope to those in difficult circumstances, and entertained generations of people.

Now he’s gone, and the world’s a little darker place because of it.

However, the laughter will be remembered. It’s something we can carry with us in our hearts forever. And it’s something that we can pass along to cement his legacy and continue his efforts to reach out to others.

I'm doing it, and I hope you will, too. Remember the laughter and share it. Rest in peace, Robin. Make God laugh.

 Life can be hard to cope with sometimes. My father always said, “You often don’t have control over what happens to you in life, but you always have control over how you choose to react to it.”

Unfortunately, for those who suffer from chronic depression, the desire to react a certain way isn’t so easily available as it might be for others. If you feel that life is just too much for you to handle, don’t give in to a sense of despair. There are people around you who care about you and who want to help. Let them help you. That’s what loved ones are here for.

Finally, if all else fails, and you feel you’re at the end of your rope, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It's a free, confidential call, and there are trained counselors who care and who truly know how to help you.

Be well.

Jazzed About Rain

[Photo by Stuart Blyth - Legal use licensed via Dreamstime - July 2014]

I’m a big fan of rainy days.
It’s raining today with temperatures unseasonably cool in the lower 70s. Outside, the rain is periodically cycling between drizzle and rhythmic showers. It feels truly marvelous for this time of year. Ever since I was a child, I have enjoyed the rain, even thunderstorms. There’s a snuggly sense of comfort and relaxation associated with watching rain fall, as well as hearing the soothing sounds of raindrops hitting the window pane. It’s especially nice when clouds are thick enough to affect the outdoor light levels, giving that near-evening appearance. In my mind, it conjures thoughts of lazy days spent reading a good book while sipping tea. There are few things more satisfying than perching on a cushioned window seat while flipping pages in a book…or scrolling through a novel on my Kindle. Then perhaps a nap. *smiling*

It may surprise you to know that I also enjoy going shopping on rainy days. Though rather unusual for a guy, I like to browse shopping malls and stores on rainy days. Don’t ask me why, but in my mind there’s just something sedate about shopping when it’s raining. Of course, I especially enjoy browsing through bookstores on rainy or cold days. Granted, with my smartphone or iPad, I can go browsing through an online bookstore no matter where I happen to be, but I prefer casually perusing the aisles of an actual bookstore. Regardless of my environment, my mood is typically lighter and more carefree on rainy days. There’s something calming about the sights and sounds of rain falling; it invokes a quieter, introspective state of mind in me. And let’s not forget the soothing appearance of rainwater as it trickles down the outer surface of the glass.

I’m going to go watch the rain fall some more while I listen to the raindrops falling outside. Are you a fan of rainy days? Drop me a line and let me know. Enjoy your day!