50 Shades of Contradiction – Episode 1

Happy Valentine's Day! It's time for romance. And what says romance today better than a romantic movie, right?

The film 50 Shades of Grey is out now, and over 200 million women have digested the entire Shades of Grey trilogy of novels, some multiple times over. (Full Disclosure: I’ve read the series already, as well.) And now…I’m completely confused about what women want sexually.

Henceforth, I’ll never date – much less have sex – with women EVER again.

Like I said, I read the novels. I get it. Anastasia Steele loves Christian Grey wholly and completely, and he’s the only guy who can unlock her heart…and unleash her climaxes.

Christian Grey is worldly, masculine, assertive, immeasurably wealthy, powerful, and drop-dead sexy. He’s also manipulative, controlling, domineering, and he loves to convey his love through erotic torment and varying levels of sadistic torture. Yet, he’s still the man that nearly every woman who reads the Fifty Shades novels desperately fantasizes about and wants for her own. Or rather, wants to be owned by.

As for me, I was raised for many years in a single-parent household by an independent-minded mother who taught me to respect women and treat them with dignity and appreciation, as well as treat them as completely equal partners in a relationship.

I’ve become the sort of man that my Mom would be proud of. And yet, I still can’t hold a candle to Christian Grey.

*shrugging* Do you see why I’m giving up?

Face it. I’m doomed with the ladies with that sort of expectation. I don’t think there’s enough drugs or alcohol in the world to screw up my mind enough to become anyone who’s even remotely like Christian Grey. (He's more like 50 Shades of Victims Protective Orders, if you ask me. Just sayin'.)

Sorry, Mom…you obviously had it wrong. The women of today’s world have spoken, and it’s Christian Grey who wins the rose on the present-day Bachelorette shows.

I never claimed to know precisely what women wanted, but I’d always considered it might have something to do with a stable, safe partner who not only loved them, but valued and cherished them, as well as placed them on a wholly equal footing in the relationship. But now, if the millions of box office tickets and 50 Shades novels being sold are any reflection of reality with women and what they actually want from their men, then I realize that I’m obviously not anywhere near what women are REALLY wanting. And worse yet, I’m definitely not in the same league with a Christian Grey; not even close. And I’m not just referring to the fact that I’m not filthy rich, either.

Okay, so instead of roses, a sweet bottle of wine, some hot kissing, and perhaps a relaxing legs and feet massage, women really want a guy wearing a worn pair of denim jeans who has a zealous expertise with plastic zip ties, nipple clamps, and a host of various-sized leather flogs? Oh, yeah…and don’t forget those silver Inner Goddess Ben Wa Pleasure Balls. (And I thought kangaroos already had it rough carrying things in THEIR pouches!)

Don’t get me wrong…I’m a firm believer that kinky can be both fun and refreshing in any healthy sexual relationship. Tie me up and spank me tonight and I’ll trade off with you tomorrow night. But a 50 Shades of Christian Grey sort of fun and refreshing? Nah, that’s way outside what I thought was supposed to be emotionally and physically safe. Oh, sure, Anastasia used a safe word. But what about the years of therapy that might be needed when that form of romance gets old? I mean, how are you supposed to raise the bar from a Christian Grey fun-time without actually killing someone? Geez!

Yep, I suppose that I’ll never make the cut for that major league franchise form of sexual fulfillment. Count me out, ladies. Enjoy the Christian Greys of the world, my dears. Instead, I’m off to join the nearest chapter of the Benedictine Monks. There’s obviously no more action with the ladies destined for me, I suppose. I won’t pretend that I stand a chance against the Christian Greys.

Probably for the best, really. Besides, I could learn to like chanting. Maybe I’ll even be on the Monks’ next album release.

Hey, are the Benedictine Monks on iTunes?

Ode to My Grandmother (1928 – 2015)

(Flowers.jpg -- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2015 BY JAZ PRIMO)

I’ve been offline for a short time. My grandmother, my mother’s mother – who I affectionately called Grandma – passed away this past Sunday. Her funeral was on Wednesday of this week, and I’m feeling rather melancholy. She’s been an influential mentor in my life since I was young boy. Her presence in my life was one of those blessings that seemed eternal. Oh, we all realize at some fundamental level that our time here on Earth is brief, but for someone who’s been in my life ever since I can remember, I’d become accustomed to her continued presence.

But time has caught up with me, and as each of us is one day destined, now she’s gone. I miss her already.

Grandma was very influential in my life; something that has made me not only the person who I am today, but someone I believe who she was proud of. She always supported me, and offered thoughtful advice or insights that were helpful. Even when I pursued my passion for fiction writing, despite her concessions that both paranormal romance and urban fantasy were well beyond her tastes, she supported me. She even kept a copy of my first vampire novel in her home and visible for most anyone to see. That meant a lot to me.

Though it has only been a week today since Grandma’s passing, I’m beginning to reflect upon her many wonderful qualities with appreciation and warmth rather than focus solely on her loss. And yet, I know that – deep inside of me – she’s alive as ever…still impacting my life and influencing me from my memories of her. Though I freely admit that grief is a process and I’m only in the early stages.

Warm thanks to my kind and caring friends and family who are steadfastly supporting me though this difficult time. Without you, I’d be overwhelmed right now. And for those of you who still have a grandmother or grandfather in your life, give them a call or go to visit them every so often. They’re not here forever, you know.
Peace.

Home Is Where the Demolition Is…

Winter is a cherished season for me; though I appreciate that many people don’t like the cold weather. As I have a warm place to hold up, I don’t mind the cold. It gives me yet another good reason to stay home and huddle up with my hobbies, interests, and distractions…including my cat, Tabby. She appreciates me being home to spend time with her, of course. During the past seven years, my home has been the creative nexus for my novel writing; a place where my ideas have taken root and come to fruition. Add one more reason why my home is truly my castle…my fortress of solitude…the place where stay-cation dreams are realized.

It’s because I value my home so much – and the wonderful memories within – that I was given pause upon reading that famed science fiction author Ray Bradbury’s house is being demolished. You can read the complete article HERE. Granted, the historic 1937-era Cheviot Hills house, located in Los Angeles, California, had a much more dated sort of layout and design than contemporary home buyers prefer to live in. Yet, it was the nostalgic location where “dreams were made” and creative visions were brought to life for generations of readers and fans. The home was interspersed with bookshelves, particularly the den where the room was lined with a Hodge-podge of rickety shelving that held the multitudes of books that Mr. Bradbury collected. If you click on the link that I provided above, at the lower portion of the article, there’s a nice 12-shot slideshow of photos taken from the interior of the house that illustrate what I’m referring to. There’s also a six-image slideshow at the top of the article displaying the external demolition.

Suffice to say, the demolition of the historic house made me feel momentarily glum.

Then I considered a number of things surrounding the event. For one, when the house was sold following Mr. Bradbury’s in 2012, the personal belongings and all of his memorabilia contained therein was removed by the family, leaving only the shell of where a famous author once called home. Essentially, it was the skeletal remains of a former complete entity. Second, there’s no magical creative dust that remains in Mr. Bradbury’s former study that future tenants could absorb to become great writers themselves. It was Ray himself that brought the magic to the room and into reality; the room was merely the setting for magic to occur. In that sense, and with consumerism being what it is, there’s little reason why a dated-looking home would harbor much intrigue for the average home buyer today. Instead, the now-demolished site will serve as the birthplace for a modern, more energy-efficient dwelling with mass curb appeal.

However, Americans have a long-standing tradition of attempting to preserve locations where famous people either grew up or resided in for much of their lives. It made me wonder: why didn’t Mr. Bradbury’s home make the grade for historic significance? He lived in that home for more than 50 years leading up to his death. I don’t believe that George Washington lived in Mount Vernon for more than 50 years before he died. Okay, that’s quite a stretch to compare Ray Bradbury to George Washington, but do you see where my train of thought is headed? Anyway, perhaps people are merely too sensitive about such topics.

Fortunately, for those who value nostalgia and preservation of great settings, materials and artifacts from Mr. Bradbury’s home office have been donated to The Center for Ray Bradbury Studies in Indiana, and there’s an initiative in play to re-create the author’s den as it appeared in the mid-1960s. That’s something that I might have to make a trip to Indiana for in the future.

New Year’s Resolutions…or Revolutions?

[LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - September 2014]

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2015!

Wow, what happened to 2014? It feels like it was October just a few weeks ago. The days and weeks seem to fly by as time proceeds, doesn’t it?

(Tebby's New Year's Eve -- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

How did you spend your New Year’s Eve? My cat, Tabby, and I relaxed at home together. It was bitterly cold outside, so I remained toasty warm indoors. I also watched a Doctor Who marathon on BBC America, and later toasted the New Year with a bottle of Sweet Bitch Chardonnay wine (very tasty!). Today, we’re experiencing freezing rain and drizzle, so I’m happily spending New Year’s Day inside, as well.

(Sweet Bitch Chardonnay -- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

Now that the New Year has arrived, tis the time for New Year’s resolutions. Frankly, I’ve never been much on them. Statistics show that most people who make resolutions rarely adhere to them for more than a few weeks or months before giving them up entirely. There are a number of reasons why. For some, their resolutions weren’t realistic. For others, it’s a matter of not mastering the art of self-discipline. For others, their hearts simply weren’t into it. Many times, the resolution wasn’t measurable; there was no defined way to establish milestones for success.

I believe that the key to a New Year’s resolution is not so much a resolution as a revolution.

If I want to make a permanent change in my life it’s got to be something that I’m committed to seeing to the very end. For me, that typically means it’s something that has affected me at an emotional and visceral level; something that stokes my passion for completion. In my experience, without passion, most things go unaccomplished or unfulfilled. Given that, did I make any commitments for personal resolutions in 2015?

The answer is yes. In fact, I have a number of objectives for 2015. The past year was rather challenging for me at a number of levels, the least of which involved a change in my publishing activities. Aside from the release of Sunrise at Sunset: Revamped – admittedly a major rewrite to the original novel – there weren’t any new material releases for me in 2014. I had hoped to release at least one new novel this past year, but it simply wasn’t in the cards. As such, I resolve that I shall release at least one new novel in 2015. Ah, but which one?

In 2015, you can expect to see the release of my fifth novel in my Sunset Vampire series, titled Sunset Rising. I’m excited about that! How about you? In addition, I plan to complete the manuscript for my long-awaited second installment in my Logan Bringer series. Bringer Unleashed will continue Logan Bringer’s search for the mysterious source of terrorists with extra-ordinary abilities like himself. So far, I’m very happy with the storyline and character developments. I know that you’ll be just as excited as me to see its release!

Have you considered any New Year’s resolutions yet? Leave a comment and let me know what yours are!

Twas’ Jaz’s Day Before Christmas!

Red Ornament on Tree -- [LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - September 2014]

Twas’ Jaz’s day before Christmas

And all truth be told,

Poor Jaz was suffering

From a mighty head cold.

 The medicines and fluids

Were lined up for use,

As warm soups and crackers

Were coupled with juice.

 Jaz called upon helpers

Brought both from far and wide,

To aid in his comfort,

To stand by his side.

 He called out to each of them,

One right after the next,

On DayQuil, on NightQuil,

On Advil, on Muscinex!

 When finally relief came

In no time at all,

Jaz’s inspirations returned

Amidst the mail call!

 *Pausing to Blow My Nose*

*Sipping Some Tea*

 Okay, so that’s about all the rhyming I can do for now. I hope that your shopping was successful and you’re ready to enjoy the most important parts of the impending holidays: celebrating with family and eating tasty foods!

Fortunately, my shopping was successful well ahead of schedule, which was fortuitous because I was unhappily waylaid by a notoriously debilitating head cold/sinus infection.

*Yuck*

While I’ve finally turned the corner on it, I’m still very tired and mildly miserable. However, I’m on the mend and I hope that by the weekend I’ll be well on my way to enjoying the remainder of the holiday season. Mind you, my mood is hardly down. In fact, given today’s mail delivery, my mood has greatly improved.

Just this afternoon, I received a mysterious package from wonderful new friends in the Janesville, Wisconsin area. Ms. Sara Heiss and a number of her students put together a marvelously kind and thoughtful Christmas gift package for me!

*Momentary Backstory*

For those of you who aren’t aware, Ms. Heiss is one of our nation’s great public school educators who strives – quite successfully, in fact – to encourage her students through engaging reading comprehension assignments. One of the books offered in her reading assignment list is my award-winning young adult paranormal novel, Gwen Reaper. Many of Ms. Heiss’ students read my novel, after which, I had the absolute pleasure to take part in an online video conference with her and her students. It was such a blast!

*Fast Forward to Today*

A Surprise Christmas Gift for Jaz  -- (PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

A wonderful box of happiness arrived in my mailbox; a box that included individually wrapped gifts for both me and my cat, Tabby! Also included was a thoughtful Christmas card from Sara and individual letters from a number of her students. I can’t convey how HAPPY it made me feel to read each of those letters…Sara and her students are simply the most thoughtful and kind souls. They made my Christmas one of the most memorable in my life; one that I won’t forget.

Tabby Looks Inside -- (PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

Tabby Evaluates the Gifts -- (PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

As you can see from the photos, Tabby enjoyed helping me investigate and unwrap each of the gifts contained therein. I think my kitty had as much fun as I did!

Tabby Unwraps Gifts -- (PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

Tabby Playing with Her Toy -- (PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

Ultimately, it was a WONDERFUL and AMAZING box of gifts for Tabby and me!

Gifts for Jaz and Tabby -- (PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

The Doctor Who t-shirt, Mad Libs book, and Tardis keychain will be treasured by me forever (as well as, worn and used with pride)! They were perfect for the dedicated Whovian that I am, and I was happy to know that some of Sara’s students are also fellow Whovians, as well. Tucked inside a mysterious black pouch were reaper sickle eraser heads, which will be excellent conversation pieces at the college where I work and teach. Of course, the alligator Gummy snacks are a highly amusing and tasty homage for the character Chewie from my Gwen Reaper novel. All in all, this was one of the BEST and most unexpected Christmas gifts I have ever received! Thank you!!

Virtual Santa --- [LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - November 2014]

Finally, I hope that you have a marvelous, happy, and illness-free Merry Christmas! Enjoy your time with friends and family, and THANK YOU for your continued support, kindness, and encouragement. You made my year very special, indeed!

*Big Hug*

Tis the Season! – or – Yule Be Sorry!

[LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - October 2014]

Wow, it feels like I just finished eating Thanksgiving dinner, and yet, Black Friday and Cyber Monday have also come and gone. And let’s not forget the other litany of pithy slogans for other days that give merchandisers another reason to draw you to their shops and websites for holiday promotions and discounts. There was Shop Local Saturday, for one. Did I leave any out? How about Tip-Toe-to-Our-Sale Tuesday? Or perhaps Sin-if-You-Miss-It Sunday? Wassailing Wednesday? Tinsel Thursday? Frosty Festival Friday? *shaking my head*

As for me, I’m keeping the holidays simple. Yes, I’m giving gifts to a number of people, though most likely it will be of the plastic gift card variety. Honestly, what can we all really need? And besides, who really knows what each other needs? In the end, I’d like to think that, health and food notwithstanding, most of us really only need the compassion, support, and fellowship of each other to make the holidays fulfilling and special. I’m planning get-togethers with family and friends to celebrate the holidays; time spent with those I care about is always a gift worth savoring, don’t you agree?

For many people, between the holiday sales, baking schedules, and preparing for social gatherings for relatives and friends, there’s not a lot of discretionary time left to really sit and bask in the warmth and magic of the season. And isn’t that really such a shame?

Well, not me, I tell you. I’m already relishing mugs of hot cocoa and hot tea, thanks to the unseasonably cool and drizzly weather conditions that we’ve had in recent days. I’ve started watching my favorite holiday films and specials, including the classic Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Oh, and I plan to re-watch each and every Doctor Who holiday special to date, all leading up to the Christmas Day Doctor Who special starring Peter Capaldi. This will be Capaldi’s first Christmas special as the 12th Doctor. Frankly, given how stoic Capaldi’s Doctor has been portrayed, I’m not sure how many warm fuzzies Steven Moffatt can believable sell in the script. As such, I’m not expecting many moments for either heartwarming dialogue or sentimental tears. *Suddenly missing David Tennant and Matt Smith*

Image Property of Puffin Publishers, All Rights Reserved, 2013.

Are you doing any reading right now? I recently finished reading a short novella by Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who: Nothing O'Clock: Eleventh Doctor. It involved Amy Pond and a mysterious entity called the Kin. It was highly satisfying and conveyed fantasy in a manner that is nearly magical for Mr. Gaiman. Suffice to say, I highly recommend it! You can read my review of it on Goodreads.com at <click here>

Well, best wishes on your holiday preparations and celebrations. I have some public events coming up later this month, so please check in on my website under EVENTS very soon. For now, I’m off to watch some college football while sipping some tasty hot cocoa. The weather outside is cool and overcast, as well as occasionally drizzly with rain. Ah, tis the season!

Oh, and Tabby my cat says, “Meow-lo!”

[Tabby Waving -- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO]

Thank You, Mr. Darcy! Don’t You Adore My New Serving Dishes?

(Pride and Prejudice -- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 1995 BY British Broadcasting Corporation)

I recently watched the 1995 BBC six-part miniseries version of Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. It was my first exposure to any of the films and specials based upon Jane Austen’s books. And while I’d never read the actual novel in question, I absolutely loved the miniseries. The costume design and settings were wonderfully historical and the cast did a marvelous job immersing me in their characters and storyline. I particularly liked the nearly six-hour length miniseries format because it enabled a fuller introduction to each character and grounded me more fully in the central plot, subplots, and circumstances. Based upon a number of other viewer comments that I’ve read, I understand that this miniseries presented nearly every minute aspect from the original novel on-screen for the viewer. I really appreciate that level of detail, enabling a complete presentation of Austen’s material. I only wished that more films, especially those based upon full-length classic novels, did the same.

Do you know of any other extended-length period novel adaptations available in film out there? I’d really appreciate your recommendations, so please leave me a comment or email me at jaz@jazprimo.com . Thanks! Oh, and way to go, Mr. Darcy!

(Home Entertainment Dishes-- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

On the way home from my day-career the other day, I stopped by Kohl’s to take advantage of a 20% off coupon and use the $20.00 Kohl’s Cash that I had accumulated. (I simply love Kohl’s Cash, don’t you?) I eagerly browsed through the store looking for something that I either needed or wanted. While passing the coats and shoes area (not many good sales on shoes, I noticed), I remembered that I wanted some entertainment dishes for my next social gathering. As I passed a number of stocking stuffer displays – which I had to dodge like the Millennium Falcon in an asteroid field – I made it to the kitchen and appliances area. As holiday music played overhead, I came upon the Food Network collections. Oh, the Food Network puts out some of the most marvelous pieces and sets of kitchenware and home entertainment dishware! I selected a set of four white porcelain Ramekins and a four-dish serving tray with square white stoneware serving dishes. Between the two sets, I’ll easily be able to serve finger snacks such as olives, nuts, fruits, dips, crackers, and maybe even a crème brulee, if I get the nerve. Heck, I’m still trying to take the time to bake some banana bread and pumpkin spice muffins. Hmm…maybe I’ll try that later this afternoon.

At any rate, now my home will be better prepared for guests who stop over for a visit during the holidays.  Did I mention that I just love Kohl’s?

(Tabby Playing on Her Cat Tree -- PHOTO COPYRIGHT 2014 BY JAZ PRIMO)

It’s the final stretch for the last week of NaNoWriMo. Did you take part? Regrettably, I wasn’t able to as I had too many day-career related obligations and special events. For those of you who did, my congratulations. For some, you’ll be able to create at least the primary written structure of a novel or novella. That being said, I realize that a number of you may only have written a portion of a project. However, there’s no need to feel discouraged. Take heart…you’ve made an impressive start. Before long, you’ll have a completed manuscript. As often as writing is a pleasure and an escape, many times it can also be a real grind. Take it in small efforts and reflect on how you’re doing so that you can make adjustments as you progress toward the finish line. Occasionally, you might even feel as though you’ve hit a brick wall with your creation. That’s when taking a brief break can open up new ideas and pathways. As only my kitty, Tabby, can convey from the photo above, there’s more than one way to accomplish your objective.

Rest assured, she finally snatched her toy, only to perch on her cat tree to cheerfully chew on it.

My thanks to Ms. Sara Heiss and her senior high school class for the marvelous video conference that I took part in last Wednesday afternoon. We talked about my novel, Gwen Reaper, which everyone read as part of their class reading assignment. Everyone made me feel very welcome and I especially appreciate Sara’s huge alligator, who represented the character Chewie from the novel. Way to go, Sara! I just love props. Oh, and Tabby made a period appearance throughout the conference. It was a LOT of fun and I hope that they invite me back again sometime!

Thanksgiving is almost here! I can’t wait for turkey, dressing, and cranberry sauce. Oh, and let’s not forget those tasty pumpkin and pecan pies. Are you preparing for the upcoming holidays?

Wintry November Bliss – or -- Avoiding the Holiday Pre-Sales Pandemonium

(A Wintry November Day -- Photo Copyright 2014 by Jaz Primo)

I particularly adore a cold winter-like November day.

Today is one of those days, complete with blowing snow flurries that melt onto the pavement but stick to the newly dormant grass. Ah, I feel very happy as I sit inside all warm and toasty and sipping on a steaming mug of hot cocoa while gazing out through my picture window. It’s moments such as these when the holidays come alive in beautiful and wondrous ways.

It is moments such as these when I’m not only feeling my happiest but also most contented. These are the truly lovely moments in life worth savoring.

Today, I’m remaining indoors to write on Sunset Rising, the fifth novel in my Sunset Vampire series. I’m also getting a head start on my Christmas shopping, including some gifts for myself. (Those are gifts from my cat, Tabby, of course. She said to order an item or two from my Christmas list. She’s so very kind. If only she had her own credit card and bank account…)

(Tabby the Cat in her Perch -- Photo Copyright 2014 by Jaz Pimo)

Tabby’s also appreciating the cold weather from the safe, warm interior of our home. You may notice in the photo that she’s comfortably lounging in the basket of her cat tree that I recently assembled for her. She’s really enjoying that cat tree of hers. I’m so happy that she likes it.

(Tabby's Cat Tree -- Photo Copyright 2014 by Jaz Primo)

 Have you started your holiday shopping yet? Thankfully, I have my list mostly completed, so I’m already beginning my purchases. Have you noticed how retailers are starting their online Christmas sales earlier and earlier each year? I recently heard on a world news report that retailers expect the weekend before Thanksgiving to be as busy as the typical Black Friday and Cyber Monday following Thanksgiving. In addition, more and more stores are opening earlier on that actual Thanksgiving Day either during the morning or by mid-day. Radio Shack opens at 8am on Thanksgiving morning. *pausing* Though I honestly don’t have a clue what I might need from them. Perhaps a spare set of batteries? *shrugging* I dunno…

One thing is for certain: I won’t be out fighting the crowds on Black Friday. For those of you who will, may the Goddess rest your souls and protect you. By contrast, I plan to be at home watching either some college football games or streaming some movies or Doctor Who episodes.

Have you seen the movie Interstellar yet? It’s really good! The storyline was compelling and engaging, and Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, and Jessica Chastain all did an excellent job with their roles, as well as the amazing supporting cast. The special effects were out of this world (pun intended) and the depiction of a black hole was impressive. I give it five stars and two thumbs up. It’s a must-see that I highly recommend. I particularly appreciate the manner in which the writers took the time to develop the situation on Earth and present the characters in a multi-dimensional manner without rushing either. It made for a much more immersive and sympathetic audience experience. Way to go, Christopher Nolan…you did it again!

 How are you preparing for the upcoming holidays? I’d like to hear from you, so enter a comment and let me know.

Doctor Jaz Speaks Out About Doctor Who: The 12th Doctor

[LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - August 2014]

I am Doctor Jaz and I’m a Whovian.

I have been a dedicated – nay, rabid – Doctor Who fan since I was a just a kid. To me, the Doctor is the quintessential hero. He’s hyper-intelligent, resilient, humorous, off-beat, and tenacious. Yet, despite being a highly-evolved Time Lord, he still exhibits the believable features of being fallible, sometimes forgetful, occasionally egotistical, and often temperamental; thereby presenting him as a personality that most viewers can identify and sympathize with.

The 4th incarnation of the Doctor (expertly portrayed by Tom Baker) was who I was first introduced to as a kid. Since then, some incarnations of the Doctor have resonated to varying levels with me. The 5th Doctor was portrayed by Peter Davison, who I never quite warmed up to like the 4th but who had his appreciable moments. I completely disliked the 6th helmed by Colin Baker, though Sylvester McCoy’s 7th Doctor softened my sense of angst and longing for the days of Tom Baker. Then the Doctor went on extended holiday – termed hiatus in the television industry – until the 1996 film with Paul McGann, which was only a brief reappearance followed by almost ten years of silence. After that, the Doctor was merely a magical memory from my youth, leaving a longing for the good old days.

Then in 2005, Doctor Who returned with Christopher Eccleston expertly resurrecting the Doctor in the midst of his 9th incarnation. My spirits soared as the magic from my childhood returned brighter than before. The new series was filled with more adult characters and mature themes, story lines, and circumstances that mesmerized me. My elation with the Doctor grew when David Tennant took over as the 10th Doctor in 2005. Tennant’s Doctor was my favorite to date, leaving me happier than I’d ever been with the show. Add to that, the Doctor’s companions skyrocketed from charming and interesting to sexy and amazing. From the sexy and spirited Rose Tyler (who to this day I still crush on!) to the mysterious and alluring Amelia Pond, the Doctor’s companions rivaled him for screen time and audience affections. Never mind the emotional and sweeping soundtracks by the incomparable talents of Murray Gold, which renewed my fixation with listening to soundtracks while I wrote my own novels.

When Matt Smith took over as the 11th Doctor, it took a few episodes for him to grow on me, though he quickly tied David Tennant as my all-time favorite version of the Doctor. Between David and Matt, Doctor Who secured the highest placement in my eternal science fiction hall of fame. Fast forward to 2013 when Matt Smith stepped aside for Peter Capaldi, both a Doctor Who fan since his youth, as well as a talented and competent actor in his own right. I was tentatively optimistic as I waited for Capaldi’s tenure to begin.

The first full episode with Capaldi as the 12th Doctor, Deep Breath, was unexpectedly flighty and concerning. Not only was the Doctor seemingly emotionally and functionally unstable as had happened to the 6th Doctor under Colin Baker, he was much more colder, analytical, and less approachable than any recent incarnation. That worried me a bit, though it was more of a throwback to the Doctors from the original series of years gone by.

(Note from Jaz: We’re simply not going to get into semantics by discussing the conveniently-inserted War Doctor played by John Hurt…just accept it and move on already.)

Gradually, a tactful sense of acceptance blossomed inside me as I tried to metabolize and understand this new incarnation of the Doctor. Sadly, and with only one episode left in the two-part season finale, I’m still working on that.

While I’m still an avid Whovian, I must admit that my fervor for the show has waned slightly this season. The stories are engaging at times, but the Doctor’s personality isn’t as compelling or as enjoyable for me to identify with as in recent incarnations. To be honest, I miss the decidedly more thoughtful and endearing moments from the Tennant/Smith era. Though I don’t believe that the Doctor has to be cuddly and huggable all the time, I truly miss those heartfelt moments where you’re able to “feel” the conflicted emotions welling inside our hero. Granted, there have been brief all-too-fleeting moments this sesason, but they’re too few and far in between for my liking. I also miss the sweeping emotional soundtracks of prior seasons. This season, Murray Gold’s score is darker and much more subdued than previous seasons. Come to think of it, there’s much more conflict between Clara Oswald and the Doctor, though much of it could be the character’s own inability to adjust to the newest incarnation; perhaps reflecting many of us fans, come to think of it.

So, where do we go from here? Honestly, I’m not sure. I’d like to believe that the Capaldi incarnation might soften just a bit more, to which I’d not only appreciate but find myself better able better form a closer emotional bond with him. I remain cautiously optimistic.

How about you? What do you think of Capaldi’s brief tenure as the Doctor?

It's Doctor Jaz...forever a Whovian!      (Photo by Jaz Primo and Brandon Acree, 2014.)

Hard Decisions Ahead: The Love of Writing Versus the Popularity Contest

[LEGAL USE OF THIS PHOTO LICENSED AND SECURED VIA DREAMSTIME - October 2014]

Today is a day that I should stay off social media outlets. However, this is my blog…a place to reflect upon the world around me; a place to say what’s on my mind. To be frightfully -- and brutally -- honest, I'm not really sure that I'm not the only person reading my blog.

That being said, today is a day of genuine disappointment and disillusionment for me as a writer.

This week is a week that I no longer feel like participating in the entertainment industry.

For most of my life, I’ve enjoyed creative writing. Writing is entertaining to me, as well as emotionally therapeutic. In fact, writing is entertainment not only to me but to the reading public at large.

By contrast, being part of the entertainment industry is often depressing and disappointing. It is a ratings game – an environment where authors, performers, artists, singers, actors and actresses all vie for the attentions of an audience and the respect of their industry and peers. It is also a money machine, focused… no, more like obsessed…with sales, investments, profits, and returns. It is a grind of modern capitalism.

It is also a popularity contest; my least favorite aspect.

I frequently advise writers to ignore the Amazon rankings and sales charts when reflecting upon their own work; that the value of their art and creativity should not be relegated to where their works reside in numbered lists. However, this week I violated my own advice and perused the Amazon rankings for my own novels.

Suffice to say, I was sadly disappointed.  I’m definitely not winning any popularity contests with regard to my outstanding novels at the present time.

A sense of rejection quickly permeated my spirit. I felt dejected and disappointed.

It made me feel as if my writing wasn’t positively contributing to the body of published literature at large in the marketplace. It made me wonder if my own work was meritorious to readers.

Those negative feelings caused me to stop writing on my current projects, namely manuscripts for my second Logan Bringer novel and my fifth Sunset Vampire novel.

It’s important to understand that authors, just like any performers or artists, receive satisfaction in seeing their work actively viewed or digested by others. It is perhaps a reflection of our own vanity, though more often – and as is the case with me, I believe – it’s a reflection of seeking broader acceptance. It’s a matter of validation that my work is good enough for others.

For authors, it’s not solely a matter of sale for the purposes of income (though paying bills and putting food on the table is important to me), it’s more like those sales numbers indicate that other people find value in my creations.

It’s a mark of perceived worthiness…of being embraced socially. Certainly, people are social creatures, are we not? 

 I don’t like feeling depressed and disappointed. I’m generally a happy person. In the midst of my melancholy, I sought solace and inspiration anywhere that I could find it.

Then I remembered someone who has spoken to my heart since I first heard him as guest speaker at the May 2012 graduation ceremony at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia.

Neil Gaiman.

Neil is the famous author of many award-winning novels, including the graphic novel, The Sandman. I often reflect on his momentous 2012 graduation speech, which you can view at http://www.uarts.edu/neil-gaiman-keynote-address-2012.

One of his many key reflections in his presentation included, "...when you start off, you have to deal with the problems of failure. You need to be thick-skinned, to learn that not every project will survive. "

I genuinely needed to hear him say that to me.

It’s never easy seeing your creations being largely overlooked in the marketplace.

Neal also said, “A freelance life, a life in the arts, is sometimes like putting messages in bottles, on a desert island, and hoping that someone will find one of your bottles and open it and read it, and put something in a bottle that will wash its way back to you: appreciation, or a commission, or money, or love. And you have to accept that you may put out a hundred things for every bottle that winds up coming back.”

Not everything we do as artists or writers will be accepted by the masses. It’s a harsh reality to confront and become comfortable with.

 I listened to the entire speech twice, in fact. His words were encouraging and soothing and somewhat reassuring.

 After a short time in silent reflection, I have decided that my own disappointment in the recent sales performance of my novels will not keep me from continuing my writing. At my core, my writing is intended for me as much as for others. It helps me work through things that are processing inside me, whether that's my imagination, or my emotions, or merely my assessments of life or the world at large.

That being said, publishing is a business, and if my novels don’t sell very well, it may not be fiscally possible for my future works to continue being published.

Even if my future works aren’t published, at least I’ll have my manuscripts for my own personal sense of accomplishment and reflection, including the satisfaction that comes from completing them in their entirety.

Of course, as an avid reader, no longer going through the grind of the publishing process and all of the work that it entails would leave me with more time for me to read what others have written. At the very least, I could help contribute to the satisfaction and support of other authors.

I’ll ponder on it further, I suppose.

Either way, I hope that your life will be fulfilled with a sense of satisfaction and acceptance.